so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
