We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
