you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
