Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
