o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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