i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
operation have a gay friend backfired
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
