I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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