spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
