Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
