I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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