Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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