I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
