College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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