Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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