I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
