Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
