i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
