shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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