To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize