how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
