i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
