So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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