She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
