Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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