I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
this hospital has no fireball
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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