New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
