Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
