sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
