Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
