why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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