mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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