so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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