every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
