I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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