D3 body, D1 cock
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
