Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
