who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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