just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's shark week go big or go home
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
