Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
please come you make the beer taste better
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
