The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
