the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
