worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize