u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
