we made out on top of his cat.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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