woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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