There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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