You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
