tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
