You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
