I'm lost and stupid without you.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize