Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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