What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
