You just made me feel so damn special
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
