She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
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Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
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Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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