awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
