hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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