Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize