whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
