If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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