he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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