Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
