I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
