I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Terrible idea I love it
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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