its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
