Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
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I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
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damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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