here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
