8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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